Tag Archives: journey

So This is Your Love

When you climb into the eyes of another, when you share your soul with the ears of another, when you let yourself be consumed by another… or even unto yourself. This means love. I’m no definitive answer to – no do I know – all that is love, but I do know this means love. Love with self, love with nature, love with others, love with desire, love with connection.

There is a point in sharing when it becomes necessary to let go of inhibition and allow to flow forth from the depths of your soul what it is that needs to flow forth. You are the guide in this journey, you are the canoe floating down the river silently. You are the flag sitting atop the mountain triumphantly. You are the spark sitting in the fire, grasping for oxygen.

How do you recognize this moment?

I think the scary part for most is when we confuse – or feel the desire to separate – this feeling with lust.

To hug is not to sex. To stare deeply into the eyes of another is not to sex. To rest on the shoulder of another is not to sex. To explain feelings is not to sex. To share is not to sex.

To love is to never give up and to always give up at the same time.

In the history books, or religious books [most, probably not all], or classroom study guides, or mathematics books we don’t discuss this constant ebb and flow. Love has seemingly been hidden behind closed doors, under thick sheets with socks on, uncomfortably. This is love as a singular, as a taught concept and un-explored; even afraid to be explored.

Perhaps if you explore what love means to you, you might just find it’s a bit lovely too!

Further reading (and inspiration for this post) found on Elephant Journal.

The State of Contentment

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con·tent/kənˈtent/

Adjective:

In a state of peaceful happiness.

Verb:

Satisfy (someone).

Noun:

A state of satisfaction: “the greater part of the century was a time of content”.
The things that are held or included in something.

Synonyms:

adjective. contented – pleased – satisfied – glad – happy

verb. satisfy – gratify – please – indulge – suffice

noun. contents – satisfaction – contentment – capacity – volume

Being content is a fetish I think. Something that has become the fascination of a most people, either by design, or by convenient brainwashing.

What does it mean?

Is content a state of being that we are happy to sit at?

I’ve been thinking about this [I think about lots]. My father used to cringe every time that I’d start off a sentence with: “Dad, I’ve been thinking…” In fact, he still jokes about it.

Being content is a state of revelation. It’s not just being specifically content with what we’re currently doing at this exact moment, or what we have just stuffed down our throats as supper. It is a personal satisfaction with a way of being. It is an understanding of the truth and the essence of life.

I have just returned from a trip across Europe. I was gone about 5 months with many experiences that filled up the whole. Truly life changing. One thing I focused on allowing was the flow of life to happen as it happened.

The cities that I visited were remarkable cities, each and every one of them, with real alive human beings in each of them that each had a story to share with me if I so asked them to share.

I smiled a lot. Sometimes the smiling was just at myself, sometimes it was at others, sometimes it was at some stranger who I had just captured a beautiful moment of with my camera.

There were a lot of late nights where I would sit by myself in a small room wondering what I was doing, and late nights where I was sitting alone in the middle of a cafe in a foreign land I did not speak the language of.

I wonder if I’m still content, now that I’ve returned. I find myself reaching out to people I’m not sure why I’m reaching out to. I find myself succumbing to rituals I’ve stored while being away. Perhaps I’m doing all of this to get some kind of wink and a nod of approval to encourage me to continue doing what I’m doing. This is different, I feel, than the mindset of a traveler, who goes forth with no real explanation and consequences. With an eye for adventure and the power of yes.

That said, while I was on my journey there were many many many ideas that flowed through my head which I knew I had to follow. I kept writing them down knowing that when I returned I would try and pursue them.

This has been leading me to ask myself what content means. What it really means for me to be content. Is it having and coveting? Or is it doing exactly what comes to my mind when I want to. Is it having or finding time to do my projects, or is it eliminating things that take time away from being content? How will I live being content? Do I even want to be content?

Surely I want happiness. But how do I know what will give me happiness if I am not happy now? Am I happy now?

Perhaps I could use the old wise sage warning of the grass is always greener on the other side. Perhaps I could use that advice from many of my friends to not think so much.

It would make my dad happier..

One thing that I do know is that music will be involved.

Are you content?

Passion

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Passion is what life is. No two people have exact same passions, but many people can have similar passions, which provides some sort of connection for us with other beings in this world; some sort of grounds to communicate on and relate.

The secret is to understand what your passions are, study them, learn from them and grow with them in a positive environment.

For myself, to find what my passion is, I need to really understand what my goals are, and what I am trying to do with my life. In reality, the goals and passions kind of sit hand in hand. When I start thinking about these things, my mind naturally flows into the areas of my most passion. Curiously, there are always ideas and thoughts that my passion digs up that are out of this world, while others are logical, standard, and perhaps even productive with any luck!

Without that main effort though, the initial thought: “What is it that I want to do? Where does my mind lead me when I think of tomorrow?” there is no chance at even understanding your true passion.

Passions aren’t just a girlfriend, or love, passion involves hobbies, quests, goals, and accomplishments often summed up in a personal mission statement. They involve anything that when thought about, all other troubles in the world seem to fade away. One believes that to just follow this journey along the passion quest to the end, the world will be complete and fulfilling.

Me? Yes, I truly believe this. An example for me is when I think about photography. Initially it started with a wanting a digital SLR (DSLR) camera, picking out which kind I wanted most, and then having to keep using my old point and shoot camera until I could gather up enough money to get my DSLR. Then it turned into going places to get spectacular photographs that would blow the doors off of National Geographic Magazine. After this, my passion soon turned to how to edit these photos, which format I should be capturing the images in (RAW, JPG, TIFF, etc.) and how to edit them. Learning Photoshop and testing out Paint Shop Pro and all the various builds of each of them was also involving, learning layers and levels and brightness and contrast all turned into one big giant passion soup, something which I enjoy immensely.

For me, it’s easy to identify a passion; it’s something that consumes all of my time. I naturally fall into searching out new ways to do what I’m passionate about, how to become successful; how to grow.

I firmly believe that to be inwardly happy; to be proud and supportive and attentive in every day of your life, one needs to pursue their passions. Once the passions have been categorized or identified then is when the real work starts with brainstorming ideas on how to actively grow and build and master that passion. This takes a lot of focus and positivity to stay aligned with your goals that come with it. One thing to definitely not be afraid of, is when you learn more about your passion, when you grow with your passion you may find that your goals tend to change slightly to align more effectively with your new path, or train of thoughts.

A quote I will leave you with from Gandhi is: “No matter what it is, I make judgment based on the best of my knowledge. If that knowledge shall change and my stance also changes as a result, I will be the first to admit my mistake, and proceed aligned with the new knowledge.”

Online Relationships

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The age of electronics & communication is upon us whether we choose to embrace that or not. Internet chat rooms, social media sites and instant messaging are all avenues that are used very regularly and by millions of people worldwide.

This isn’t the bad news. The bad news is that many people take advantage of these platforms to create for themselves false identities, friendships based on lies, or even as far as relationships which they have no intention of pursuing in person. Yes, sometimes this doesn’t matter, if both parties involved are aware that this doesn’t matter.

Ok, I will admit, there is an open door thinly veiled with a trust flag that is assumed when working in these circles, and eventually the truth does come out. However, this doesn’t deter or even phase many people. Most people are honest by nature, but there are also some people who hide from society, are afraid of what people will think of their true selves, and decide to deceive.

In all honesty, this is understandable. The world is a harsh place, and it’s very hard sometimes to deal with society’s scrutiny. But the fact of the matter is that we have to grab life by the balls and live it without fear. That’s just the way it goes. That’s how progress is achieved and the forward direction is perceived.

In my many years online I have been involved in chat rooms, dating sites, social sites, online clubs, web pages, forums, instant messaging, and any other form there is out there. I have had online friendships blossom into real life friendships, I have met significant others online, and I know friends who have married that met first online.

In all these years I have learned a lot about people and experienced many different types of characters and personalities. But one thing that I have found, in all of this, is that a lot of people don’t take what goes on online seriously. They treat it as an anonymous freak show.

For example, some people will flirt tirelessly with other online friends when they have a significant other in real life. This wouldn’t be a problem if the significant other was aware, or they acted the same around their spouse, but from my experience it’s a major breach of trust in a relationship.

Another example is building relationships. It is very easy to meet many really cool people online or at least for me it has always been so. Over time you grow friendly, and sometimes intimate with these people, and want to take things to the next step, which is when things get funny. Excuses’ start falling like apples in the fall, unexpected trips, work overtime, etc. and time keeps slipping by in a more sickening and saddening direction.

This is the horror that you hear about when people bad talk online activities because most people fear what they don’t know. Is this person a fake?

IIt’s extremely frustrating. It’s like you can see the future, you’ve planned the future, and everything was ok until it comes time to actually meet, at which time everything turns sour and the masks come off and the ugly beast rears its head.

Another example is when you’ve been building a relationship with somebody for a few months (or years) and suddenly one day they just off and leave, never to be seen or heard from again.

I’m trying to think about how a person in real life acts, and comparing it to an online person. Maybe it’s just nostalgia, but I feel that class and etiquette are things that should never be left behind. Granted there are some areas of the internet where they explicitly state that class and etiquette should be left at the door, but were ignore those areas for they are special cases.

So how do we act in real life? Do we tell our friend(s) that we’re getting close and intimate with that they mean a lot to us, and then up and disappear one day? I suppose there is some of us do this.

Do we flirt shamelessly with every passing interest and act completely sober when with our significant other? Once again, I suppose there are some of us who do this in real life.

Do we make plans to show up for a date, and then not show? I suppose there are also some out there who also do this.

I guess what the major difference is that in real life, we actually had to meet the person, face to face, to have started the relationship we have built with that person. Whereas online, it’s a different world. We don’t have to shake hands or hug anybody, we don’t have to keep eye contact, we don’t have to keep our attention focused on them, and we can browse any random webpage we like when talking with them. We don’t even have to show them a picture of ourselves in lots of situations, though the online world is becoming more visual by the second.

So I guess what the moral of this story is, is that no matter which avenue we decide to walk down to create friendships, one should always keep in mind to be honest, sincere, and oneself. Ethics play a major role in ensuring that in real life, or online, a person acts with respect and sincerity.

Have you ever had a situation like this happen to you? How have you dealt with it?

What advice do I have if you’ve become a victim? I will steal a quote from a friend:

“Destiny” is a result of choice. You’re destined to do something only if you choose to. That all depends on your journey. So the “journey” foreshadows our destiny…but ultimately we make the choice whether or not we stay in flow / on track.

Balance

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Life requires balance. No matter which way you look at it, too much of a good thing is bad.

To me, this translates to too much indulging and not enough committing is a bad thing. And vice versa: too much commitment and not enough indulging will make a person go crazy as well.

The secret is to balance life’s pleasures with its pains to gain the balance we all need to succeed, to stay positive, and enjoy oneself in this journey.

To create three pictures of these lifestyle choices, let’s start with the funner of the evils.

Take for example if you choose to spend all your time going to the club, socializing with friends, placing aside your bills and family for a life with total spontaneity; randomly taking trips to exotic destinations, and staying committed to no one in particular.

Yes, as a fairy tale; a sort of Alice in Wonderland luster-lust relationship, is very appealing at first glance. After all, a story that fills dreams of young children’s sleep is by no means a distasteful existence, but in reality, even Alice was getting a bit confused and muddled by the end of her journey.

Does this path provide sustainability?

It does require a lot of positive thinking , but it really doesn’t allow the journey’er to hold a balance in one’s life. However, who am I to say whether one way through life is better than another? For most of us, we do not come across larger than life creatures and queens with giant heads in our days; we are faced with grocery bills, the boss, and parents.

Then there is the overtly tight, narcissistic, OCD riddled humanoid that simply must have a strict regime and daily tasks in order to go about their day with the least amount of restraint on their mind as possible.

Although this does require a lot of focus,which nobody can argue, it does require a lot of restraint on the creative mind; what about letting the wind to run through your hair (what about the sunscreen, and a hat to protect the scalp, and are we going the right speed). Flash-backs of a recent picture I’ve seen of an office completely covered in tin foil appear vividly in my mind (yes it was a prank).

Can a happy balance be found, taking the good from both of these polar opposites?

Can a person find some serenity in having certain tasks that they perform every day methodically imprinted in exact order?

Some simple things like taking a shower every morning, coffee, the same blend for breakfast, and the same route to work are all methodically imprinted in ones routine that it’s hard to realize that they are an actual routine. They seem rather something that is more necessary than choice.

But then there are things that one does in their day like lunch-time. Where shall we go today? Somewhere new? How about a walk in the park? Or what about tackling the day’s work in the opposite order than usually taken? Does work offer such a luxury?

I think that it’s hard to get one’s mind out of sub-conscious programming of daily monotonous activities, and challenge the mind to think of new, creative ways to take each step forward; but I task it to you, the reader, and myself, the writer, to analyze these supposed standard routines and see what we can do to provide some excitement to them, but still hold a balance to the routines that we as humans crave.

Maybe this mere fact is what truly makes us individuals in the end: to become victims of monotony, but I like the challenge this norm. Every once and a while it is fun to add a little excitement to the day!

Do any of you have any tips on how you find balance in your life?