By no means do I have the most friends in the block, nor do I have the most likes on Facebook, or the most followers on Twitter. What I do have is a heart, a mind, the power of compassion, and the observation skills of a hawk. I have been hurt, and I have hurt. I have shared my feelings, and helped friends through some of the hardest times they’ve faced in their life to date. Through all of this, I have learned the characteristic that cultivates these intimate friendships the most is an unrelenting concern for friends.
I’ve been surrounded somewhat by death these days. Well, there is also some beautiful new life in my world too, but this is on death so we’ll ignore them for the time being.
My grandmother says that as she gets older her friends just keep dying. It seems like for me, the older that I’ve been getting, my friends, or my friends friends, or my uncles, or my great uncles, or my… have started passing away.
I was talking last night with my father about this, and he said it’s disgusting. This death. Specifically with regards to cancer, but I think premature death is always sad, not necessarily disgusting, but just unfortunate and sad. I’m talking death from a disease or accident.
Sitting here, I’m thinking about books my grandmother has given me on yoga.
Let me step back a moment.
I am very interested in photographs, and I’ve taken most of my grandmothers photographs from her albums and scanned them and made them digital. For her own continuity and for mine. Who knows what will happen to those albums. As a result, I’ve gotten to know a lot more about my grandmother in her earlier years, in her young adult life especially, and I have seen how beautiful she was as a young woman.
This leads me to think about how graceful she may have been. How she would have practiced yoga? Did she use it for meditation, or did she use it for exercise? It’s funny, some of these books date back pretty far, long before Lululemon came around [isn’t that when/why most kids these days get into yoga? (kidding)].
Then, I phase back to reality and look at her now. I see her requiring 3 swings to get up from a chair. I see her hunched over with age. I hear her talk to me about how exhausting it is to even make breakfast in the morning. I am trying to convince her and everybody around her that she needs a maidservant to help her with daily tasks, just to make it easier on her.
My grandmother is 93 years old this year.
It kind of scares me how life has already just swept past me as if I’ve been sleeping. I know I’ve been awake, I know there have been many memories in there and many large events that have carried me along, but it still scares me how it goes so fast.
Father keeps telling me how he hates getting old. Who can blame him? I hate getting old too.
I want to live forever. If I was given the chance to live forever, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Easy choice.
I talk to people about this sometimes, and they look at me saying things like: “Why would you want to live forever? You would get so bored of things, and it would be so sad when all of the people you would come into contact with, your lovers, would die and leave you to continue on.” I say that’s hogwash. Sure, that would hurt. It may hurt so much I’d want to take my own life after a while, but I’d still do it, I’d still live forever. So what if I had a year of depression. So what if I slept a whole day away. I’d live forever. This kind of stuff would soon pass, and I’d find other things to occupy my mind keeping me in the moment. I like to think I’d stay motivated. Perhaps there could be a clause that if I didn’t stay motivated, I would start to age. On second thought, that would make me pretty anxious I think, so perhaps no clause. I don’t need a clause.
In my life right now, I know 4 people being effected by Cancer. I have lost people in my life who have meant a great deal to me from other causes too. Heart attacks, strokes, accidents, sicknesses.
How do you deal with death?
I take subtle queues from Qi. It teaches that one should not get too excited, nor too depressed, and that one should strive to find the balance in the middle where all of life just is. Expect that everything happens as it should, whether it’s good or bad, it’s just the way of the world and we cannot control that.
I like this attitude for some aspects in my life, like death, but I also feel that as a human I can inflict change into my life, change that I want to see happen. So sometimes I just don’t take things as it happens, sometimes I push forward for more. I think this attitude, after all, is what it means to live.
You may be thinking: “what has this got to do with exercise and mind.” I don’t blame you, it’s a fairly obscure topic, but I think that touching on it here will hopefully open your mind up to the world we live in.
The booty call, or friends with benefits, scares many people. I know it scares me, or has scared me about a few things.
First off, having multiple partners is something we’ve all (or most of us) been told is unhealthy and increases your risk of STD’s. This part is obvious. Yes, you can wear a condom, which reduces your risks, but there are many other orifices that STD’s can get transferred in. If you’re sexually active, regardless of how many partners you have, you should be responsible and get at least yearly blood tests done to make sure that you are clean. In most countries, these tests are administered by health clinics, and you just need to get an appointment from the Dr. to go. This is usually got from any drop in center.
Secondly, having somebody that you just call up for some lovin’, does that de-sensitizing people to the beauty of sex, or is it making them appreciate it much more? I am an advocate of love, free love for everyone, but does this also involve sex? I believe that love can be shown in more ways than just sex. So then, why is sex mounted on a pedestal, worshipped from afar?
Thirdly, don’t people say that sex changes everything? If you’re trying to stay friends, what will happen? Or does staying friends matter?
Fourthly, is it good? I know for myself, getting it on isn’t just about getting it on, it’s about that interaction, finding something in that other person, feeling something together that makes it so special. Epic if you will. If you’re just friends, how does that work? Does it feel special, or is it the same feeling you get after unplugging the toilet?
Do you have some insight for me? Please do share with us in the comments section.
I, myself, am not oblivious to the fact that it could be a good thing, after all sometimes relieving stress, or having somebody to feel and help you balance life could be a great thing, couldn’t it? Sometimes life is just way to busy to start a relationship with somebody just to get those primal desires satisfied. I know as a fact that prostitution has been around for thousands of years, and will no doubt continue due to this very fact of non-committal.
I know that people say its good as long as you start off by making sure you’re both on the same page with it. Making sure that both people are aware that feelings shouldn’t be involved. Does this mean that nobody will get hurt? Or does this mean that it ends when somebody starts to feel more for the other person? I wonder how many couples can say they started off as a booty call, and then moved into a more deeper relationship? Does it last? I feel that most times out of ten, one or both of the people involved will become hurt, especially in the friends with benefits category.
So, I ask you again, how do you feel about a friends with benefits, or booty call? Is it something you have done, or will do again?
