Category Archives: Psychology

Stress, Complain, and Get Upset

We live life. This isn’t ever going away until the day we die. So that is fairly set in stone.

As we live our life, each day is met with events: second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day. Good events, bad events, sad events, happy events.

This is our day. This is our path. There is no escaping this. It is our scheme how we let each event lead into the next event; this is our master plan, our grand illusion.

The way I see it, we have two choices. We can love each encounter and event, seek to share and exchange energy, and waltz through each moment of the day…. or we can get stressed, complain, and upset when the events don’t go as expected.

It’s your choice really.

You Are Right and I Am Wrong

New age spirituality has a tendency to immediately discard any notions of religion, almost vehemently. That simple word has so many different connotations for everybody that it’s like a rainbow of emotions.

And what’s more, using this word seems to invite the non-believers among us to try and teach the religiously inclined why they’re wrong, who are usually at the same time trying to tell us it’s right.

Nobody wins. Nobody hears the other. And what is right and wrong?

If I understand correctly, the main opposition to religion is about the forced nature of it. New spiritual ideals say let’s let people find the answers for themselves through their own searching, not through being forced. Away from propaganda of organized religion, and into organic research and learning. Searching inside ourselves rather than reading about it in a book.

Perhaps the definition of spirituality is to learn from everything, from everybody, while trying to remove prejudices that cloud our ability to learn.

I think this starts with smiling, but I’m not 100% sure on that 🙂

How you define learning is up to you, but there is only one way to go about it.

 

Sharing Energy

Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power. ~Shirley MacLaine

Whether you want to believe it or not, every single day we are bombarded with energy. If from no other source than the sun that touches us. But it’s everywhere, it’s in the air, it’s from the plants, it’s from the people we walk by on the streets… and what we should be most aware of, is it comes from us! We are energy! Truly we are energy!

We are the epicenter of an energy source that floats around us. Think of it as though we are a beacon of light in the darkness. The energy is most bright at our core, and as it emenates outward it really does exist, but just less frequent.

would-you-like-some-of-mine Continue reading

Love.. Programming? …Instinct?

hearts, +, and hugs

Love

This four letter word is more demanding of our thoughts than the strongest of all gale winds, wetter than the wettest of all storms, deeper than all rivers, and thicker than all trees. It follows us on every path, every road, greets us at every waking, and usually sends us to sleep every night. No matter at work, play, home, or away, love follows us.

Wherever you go, there you are ~Confucius

Love often sways our mood greatly. Those of us that get effected by sadness, love is usually a large player in that game. Happiness is usually associated with the freedom to love. Sometimes woes with our family comes from wanting to send with love some wisdom, and having our love insulted when the other doesn’t jump up and thank us for that same wisdom from the heart.

It is a weird bird, this love. Is it pesky? Is it warranted? Is it necessary? Are we being told to love, and therefor wanting to love? Continue reading

is life happiness?

Peace, Inside and Out

One of my deepest questions I think about frequently is about happiness in life. I read constantly about people being blessed, having the best life, doing awesome things, going on vacation…  having the good fortune to do things like sitting all day by the pool, cruising in a boat, head down to LA for the weekend, partying at the coolest club. I always hear the words: “I have the best friend in the world,” or people saying they’re so lucky because they’ve got the latest iPhone before it’s been released onto the market for general consumption…

Source: Ned Tobin | www.nedtobin.com

Source: Ned Tobin | www.nedtobin.com

Continue reading

The State of Contentment

con·tent/kənˈtent/

Adjective:
In a state of peaceful happiness.
Verb:
Satisfy (someone).
Noun:
  1. A state of satisfaction: “the greater part of the century was a time of content”.
  2. The things that are held or included in something.
Synonyms:
adjective.  contented – pleased – satisfied – glad – happy
verb.  satisfy – gratify – please – indulge – suffice
noun.  contents – satisfaction – contentment – capacity – volume

 

Being content is a fetish I think. Something that has become the fascination of a most people, either by design, or by convenient brainwashing.

What does it mean?

Is content a state of being that we are happy to sit at?

I’ve been thinking about this [I think about lots]. My father used to cringe every time that I’d start off a sentence with: “Dad, I’ve been thinking…” In fact, he still jokes about it.

Being content is a state of revelation. It’s not just being specifically content with what we’re currently doing at this exact moment, or what we have just stuffed down our throats as supper. It is a personal satisfaction with a way of being. It is an understanding of the truth and the essence of life.

I have just returned from a trip across Europe. I was gone about 5 months with many experiences that filled up the whole. Truly life changing. One thing I focused on allowing was the flow of life to happen as it happened.

The cities that I visited were remarkable cities, each and every one of them, with real alive human beings in each of them that each had a story to share with me if I so asked them to share.

I smiled a lot. Sometimes the smiling was just at myself, sometimes it was at others, sometimes it was at some stranger who I had just captured a beautiful moment of with my camera.

There were a lot of late nights where I would sit by myself in a small room wondering what I was doing, and late nights where I was sitting alone in the middle of a cafe in a foreign land I did not speak the language of.

I wonder if I’m still content, now that I’ve returned. I find myself reaching out to people I’m not sure why I’m reaching out to. I find myself succumbing to rituals I’ve stored while being away. Perhaps I’m doing all of this to get some kind of wink and a nod of approval to encourage me to continue doing what I’m doing. This is different, I feel, than the mindset of a traveler, who goes forth with no real explanation and consequences. With an eye for adventure and the power of yes.

That said, while I was on my journey there were many many many ideas that flowed through my head which I knew I had to follow. I kept writing them down knowing that when I returned I would try and pursue them.

This has been leading me to ask myself what content means. What it really means for me to be content. Is it having and coveting? Or is it doing exactly what comes to my mind when I want to. Is it having or finding time to do my projects, or is it eliminating things that take time away from being content? How will I live being content? Do I even want to be content?

Surely I want happiness. But how do I know what will give me happiness if I am not happy now? Am I happy now?

Perhaps I could use the old wise sage warning of the grass is always greener on the other side. Perhaps I could use that advice from many of my friends to not think so much.

It would make my dad happier..

One thing that I do know is that music will be involved.

Are you content?

Death

I’ve been surrounded somewhat by death these days. Well, there is also some beautiful new life in my world too, but this is on death so we’ll ignore them for the time being.

My grandmother says that as she gets older her friends just keep dying. It seems like for me, the older that I’ve been getting, my friends, or my friends friends, or my uncles, or my great uncles, or my… have started passing away.

I was talking last night with my father about this, and he said it’s disgusting. This death. Specifically with regards to cancer, but I think premature death is always sad, not necessarily disgusting, but just unfortunate and sad. I’m talking death from a disease or accident.

Sitting here, I’m thinking about books my grandmother has given me on yoga.

Let me step back a moment.

I am very interested in photographs, and I’ve taken most of my grandmothers photographs from her albums and scanned them and made them digital. For her own continuity and for mine. Who knows what will happen to those albums. As a result, I’ve gotten to know a lot more about my grandmother in her earlier years, in her young adult life especially, and I have seen how beautiful she was as a young woman.

This leads me to think about how graceful she may have been. How she would have practiced yoga? Did she use it for meditation, or did she use it for exercise? It’s funny, some of these books date back pretty far, long before Lululemon came around [isn’t that when/why most kids these days get into yoga? (kidding)].

Then, I phase back to reality and look at her now. I see her requiring 3 swings to get up from a chair. I see her hunched over with age. I hear her talk to me about how exhausting it is to even make breakfast in the morning. I am trying to convince her and everybody around her that she needs a maidservant to help her with daily tasks, just to make it easier on her.

My grandmother is 93 years old this year.

It kind of scares me how life has already just swept past me as if I’ve been sleeping. I know I’ve been awake, I know there have been many memories in there and many large events that have carried me along, but it still scares me how it goes so fast.

1793 - The Death of Marat - Jacques-Louis David - p817

Father keeps telling me how he hates getting old. Who can blame him? I hate getting old too.

I want to live forever. If I was given the chance to live forever, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Easy choice.

I talk to people about this sometimes, and they look at me saying things like: “Why would you want to live forever? You would get so bored of things, and it would be so sad when all of the people you would come into contact with, your lovers, would die and leave you to continue on.” I say that’s hogwash. Sure, that would hurt. It may hurt so much I’d want to take my own life after a while, but I’d still do it, I’d still live forever. So what if I had a year of depression. So what if I slept a whole day away. I’d live forever. This kind of stuff would soon pass, and I’d find other things to occupy my mind keeping me in the moment. I like to think I’d stay motivated. Perhaps there could be a clause that if I didn’t stay motivated, I would start to age. On second thought, that would make me pretty anxious I think, so perhaps no clause. I don’t need a clause.

In my life right now, I know 4 people being effected by Cancer. I have lost people in my life who have meant a great deal to me from other causes too. Heart attacks, strokes, accidents, sicknesses.

How do you deal with death?

I take subtle queues from Qi. It teaches that one should not get too excited, nor too depressed, and that one should strive to find the balance in the middle where all of life just is. Expect that everything happens as it should, whether it’s good or bad, it’s just the way of the world and we cannot control that.

I like this attitude for some aspects in my life, like death, but I also feel that as a human I can inflict change into my life, change that I want to see happen. So sometimes I just don’t take things as it happens, sometimes I push forward for more. I think this attitude, after all, is what it means to live.

What do you think?

Overcoming Overwhelming

The biggest thing to remember when facing the daunting feeling of overwhelming is one thing at a time.

Like for instance, feeding ones self. That’s a big task. Three times a day, or even more. Properly hydrated, and exterminated.

That’s a fairly big deal.

But then that leaves us with tasks less sincere to our continued life on this planet, and moves onto other such things like checking your emails. Returning phone calls and text messages.

How about sending out a few of those too? Take a look at the list of things to do, clean up a few tools or utencils, close a few windows. Start the day.

Then what?

The point by example is that I have already done just one thing at a time.

So take a breath, you got this thing.

and-then

Perhaps we can then move onto the lists.

Lists are a very beautiful feature. They offer a very simple solution to a myriad of tasks and items to remember about, that come into your mind during the day. Using this technique, you can then refer to them when you are looking for something to do.

Usually at this point, I like to do one thing, to feel active and get some completion flowing.

I’ve found recently that writing lists down on paper is more effective than on a phone or mobile device. Even a computer. No. It’s nice to throw out lists, check things off, start fresh ones. These are feelings of accomplishment. However, it is nice to also keep more long term lists on a phone like a list of movies to watch, or bands to listen to, books to read, items to research, etc.

Following this sort of thought process should hopefully systematically allow you to overcome the feeling over overwhelming, and tackle the tasks and goals set forth, one at a time, bringing you to the success you have defined for yourself!

Thought Process

You are here to feed your body and mind with good information. You are an active learner, and you are trying to achieve all that you can achieve while you are here in this world.

The trick is to make yourself absolutely believe in this, without a shadow of a doubt.

It may seem a little excessive, but it’s not. You are going to be a better person for trying and succeeding with your goals. We may not all have the same goals in mind when we start off on this path to wellness, but there are certain things that we can all do the same that are simply beneficial to every and anyone who tries them.

Make Yourself Goals I like to use a whiteboard to write down my short and long term goals, but a piece of paper will work too. I usually compile this into a personal mission statement.

Start off very broad, with key elements you would like to focus on like health, eating, exercise, and mind. Then from these pick a few things that you feel you can do to achieve them.

thinking_cap

For example, for exercise I would write down go hiking one day a week, get at least 3 days of working out a week.

For eating I would write, make 2 new recipes from my new cook book, don’t eat one fast food product, and have a blend every morning.

Having these easy tasks laid out will make it a lot easier to achieve and stay focused on your path.

Constantly re-evaluate what you wrote down. It really feels good to cross off things that you’ve done on the list, or increase health activities to greater number.

For example after getting on track with my exercise routine, I may change my goals to: lift weights for 45 minutes 3 times a week, do one hike a week that lasts over an hour, go for a 30 minute walk 2 times a week.

You will also notice that you will drop certain activities out of your list when you have changed your ideas of what works and what doesn’t work for you. Keep in mind that you always want to challenge yourself. When you reach your goals, you know that you have progressed.

Never be satisfied with the level your at though, continually be looking for newer and better ways to live a healthy life.

Thought process requires planning, attitude, and personal commitment to the goals. Like any skill, proper thought process requires learning, and effort for a extended period of time to stay focused on the decision, and goals, but in the end, rewards anybody who takes action in their own thoughts.

The Booty Call

You may be thinking: “what has this got to do with exercise and mind.” I don’t blame you, it’s a fairly obscure topic, but I think that touching on it here will hopefully open your mind up to the world we live in.

The booty call, or friends with benefits, scares many people. I know it scares me, or has scared me about a few things.

booty-call

First off,  having multiple partners is something we’ve all (or most of us) been told is unhealthy and increases your risk of STD’s. This part is obvious. Yes, you can wear a condom, which reduces your risks, but there are many other orifices that STD’s can get transferred in. If you’re sexually active, regardless of how many partners you have, you should be responsible and get at least yearly blood tests done to make sure that you are clean. In most countries, these tests are administered by health clinics, and you just need to get an appointment from the Dr. to go. This is usually got from any drop in center.

Secondly, having somebody that you just call up for some lovin’, does that de-sensitizing people to the beauty of sex, or is it making them appreciate it much more? I am an advocate of love, free love for everyone, but does this also involve sex? I believe that love can be shown in more ways than just sex. So then, why is sex mounted on a pedestal, worshipped from afar?

Thirdly, don’t people say that sex changes everything? If you’re trying to stay friends, what will happen? Or does staying friends matter?

Fourthly, is it good? I know for myself, getting it on isn’t just about getting it on, it’s about that interaction, finding something in that other person, feeling something together that makes it so special. Epic if you will. If you’re just friends, how does that work? Does it feel special, or is it the same feeling you get after unplugging the toilet?

bootycall

Do you have some insight for me? Please do share with us in the comments section.

I, myself, am not oblivious to the fact that it could be a good thing, after all sometimes relieving stress, or having somebody to feel and help you balance life could be a great thing, couldn’t it? Sometimes life is just way to busy to start a relationship with somebody just to get those primal desires satisfied. I know as a fact that prostitution has been around for thousands of years, and will no doubt continue due to this very fact of non-committal.

I know that people say its good as long as you start off by making sure you’re both on the same page with it. Making sure that both people are aware that feelings shouldn’t be involved. Does this mean that nobody will get hurt? Or does this mean that it ends when somebody starts to feel more for the other person? I wonder how many couples can say they started off as a booty call, and then moved into a more deeper relationship? Does it last? I feel that most times out of ten, one or both of the people involved will become hurt, especially in the friends with benefits category.

So, I ask you again, how do you feel about a friends with benefits, or booty call? Is it something you have done, or will do again?