con·tent/kənˈtent/

Being content is a fetish I think. Something that has become the fascination of a most people, either by design, or by convenient brainwashing.

What does it mean?

Is content a state of being that we are happy to sit at?

I’ve been thinking about this [I think about lots]. My father used to cringe every time that I’d start off a sentence with: “Dad, I’ve been thinking…” In fact, he still jokes about it.

Being content is a state of revelation. It’s not just being specifically content with what we’re currently doing at this exact moment, or what we have just stuffed down our throats as supper. It is a personal satisfaction with a way of being. It is an understanding of the truth and the essence of life.

I have just returned from a trip across Europe. I was gone about 5 months with many experiences that filled up the whole. Truly life changing. One thing I focused on allowing was the flow of life to happen as it happened.

The cities that I visited were remarkable cities, each and every one of them, with real alive human beings in each of them that each had a story to share with me if I so asked them to share.

I smiled a lot. Sometimes the smiling was just at myself, sometimes it was at others, sometimes it was at some stranger who I had just captured a beautiful moment of with my camera.

There were a lot of late nights where I would sit by myself in a small room wondering what I was doing, and late nights where I was sitting alone in the middle of a cafe in a foreign land I did not speak the language of.

I wonder if I’m still content, now that I’ve returned. I find myself reaching out to people I’m not sure why I’m reaching out to. I find myself succumbing to rituals I’ve stored while being away. Perhaps I’m doing all of this to get some kind of wink and a nod of approval to encourage me to continue doing what I’m doing. This is different, I feel, than the mindset of a traveler, who goes forth with no real explanation and consequences. With an eye for adventure and the power of yes.

That said, while I was on my journey there were many many many ideas that flowed through my head which I knew I had to follow. I kept writing them down knowing that when I returned I would try and pursue them.

This has been leading me to ask myself what content means. What it really means for me to be content. Is it having and coveting? Or is it doing exactly what comes to my mind when I want to. Is it having or finding time to do my projects, or is it eliminating things that take time away from being content? How will I live being content? Do I even want to be content?

Surely I want happiness. But how do I know what will give me happiness if I am not happy now? Am I happy now?

Perhaps I could use the old wise sage warning of the grass is always greener on the other side. Perhaps I could use that advice from many of my friends to not think so much.

It would make my dad happier..

One thing that I do know is that music will be involved.

Are you content?