Category Archives: Psychology

Self Reliance

Self reliance. To believe in oneself. Not necessarily to cast off society and rely entirely upon thyself for sustained life, but to believe thyself hath the wherewithal and capacity to follow thy true North. To have the confidence to hold trust of thy community. To learn, to change. To sear thy fear with clenched teeth, grit, determination, and strength.

Self reliance. Not just a pretty phrase from the lips of sustainability life coaches with a chicken coop, but an indication of insight into thyself and a submission to thy truest path one hath cleared; a forging of thy road upon which a true life lives. Self reliance, a living example of choice, and command of thy trusty steed. Goals that are not means to an end, but means to a life fully experienced and lived. A conscious submission to a god of your choice.

Perhaps this comes at the gate of Mephistopheles, Poseidon, or Zeus. Perhaps it comes at the gates of an orchard, garden, studio, or in the knot delicately wrapped into thy necktie. Perhaps it is blessed by ten thousand adoring fans. Perhaps its ramifications cast you to the outskirts of society like a black sheep. And if it doth so or has been, let it be girth to your determination. But let it not be thy only cause, for Providence nor Karma is yours to administer. No, the cause is inside, in those unspeakable coals keeping the fire of life within. Let and take whatever means necessary to set thy own path, quiver and arrow, aligned with thy true North.

For self reliance means to believe. For self reliance means to trust. And as this insight fuels thy fire within, though your chosen path may be philanthropy or reformation, by design of self reliance one must also learn to identify and respect those whom also believe in their own true North. For no good can come of twisting another’s true North into a submission to your’s, lest self reliance becomes lost and forgotten. Lest self reliance becomes obscured and quietened, indicating the downfall of any society or culture built upon the backs of truth.

Trusting in thyself, trusting in thy neighbour, trusting that thy truth is spoken in clarity, trusting that thou information is shared clearly, trusting thy capacity to quieten vanity, ego, and honour, trusting that even change can exist as self reliance is forged.

ONE – An Intentionally Aware Study

ONE. It’s a concept that’s quite loaded. When I think of that word, I think of a Yoga studio here in Vancouver that I attended the opening of, filled with stylish yogis doing much better down dogs then me and having much longer hair then me. I think of airy hippies floating around a circle with magic beads encouraging us to become one with the world, our thoughts, others, and roar like the lions (or tigresses) we are. I think of Bob Marley bouncing around with his Rastafarians on a stage with big amps, one love man. I think of one more cup of coffee, for the road. I think of the feeling of walking through the forest with something I cannot call by name tingling up my spine like a vine.

You see, I’ve become conflicted with how ONE can be ONE in our current world’s trajectory, a marketed ONE. It seems to me it’s conflicting. We’re encouraged to get more followers on social media, because when we do, we’ll get more people interested in our images, reading our messages, which means we might make it big or get that big sponsor, you know, become ONE, find our ONE truth. Mo’ money cause this hustler is ONE. We’re given slogans reminding us to get out more, explore more, see more of the world, meet more people, connect with more people… all of this shouted loudly and vibrantly and from hip tongues by society’s climbers, and believed – or perhaps regurgitated – by many more. I’ve believed them for so long, reworded them to explain to others. Moreso, I respect the concepts. Continue reading

clear cut near Shawnigan Lake Vancouver Island BC Canada

What is the Big Hurry

I just read a post by a fella who said since loosing his mother he’s been finding it harder and harder to connect with people with their challenges and goals and all that jazz. I can’t help but empathize.

I look at something like this clearcut and I ask myself: “What is the big hurry?”

I used to hike to the top of mountains with the peak in mind, and then hit the peak, slap that peak in the ass, turn around, and head right back down. This no longer makes sense to me really, as every step along the path are peaks of little miracles. Bugs, bark, blossoms… why is a view of a lake I just walked along ignoring to get to the peak better then stopping beside that lake to dip my toes in?

Of course, this is an analogy to life. Us humans have a tendency to nurture the scatter brain, the lizard brain, that encourages us to not be content with the moment, but instead be planning ten thousand things more. Sure ten thousand things are an exciting proposition, but there also exists ten thousand things in looking the person close to you in the eye and saying: “Hello, thank you,” with a smile.

Social Revolution

Whether we like it or not, we are in the midst of a social revolution. Gone are the days when we communicate with telegrams or letter mail. Gone are the days where a Like button meant nothing. Gone are the days when avatars and handles and 140 characters and posts were things found primarily in the farm yard.

Gone are the days when this exact moment was shared only between you and those directly around you, not broadcast to friends far and wide on Instagram. Gone are the days of journeying into a new land and having only a hand written letter of introduction (and maybe an advanced telegram) to take you on your journey.

We find ourselves spearheading this social revolution and becoming champions of this new frontier, reorganizing social and society in an entirely new way that has the possibility of connecting the world through infinite little wires once and for all where we are able to gain so much more insight into each others lives to allows us to connect, understand, and share in a more direct way we’ve never been able to before.

In fact, the basis of empathy – identifying and understanding another’s situation or feelings – is entirely rooted in this, to wear somebody else’s shoes for a day.

Understanding this, I have two immediate questions. The first is how much then do we share in our new social society? Do we allow ourselves to be a social innovator, pushing the comfort zones and the boundaries many have erected before us?

And if we do, does this make us more social? It’s easy to see how sharing like this could quickly transition into being used as a soapbox, rather than hypertextual wires; lifelines.

It’s up to you if and how you respond. It’s also up to you how you choose to use this new tool.


Thank-God vs. Not That Way Clients

Dealing with clients is a very tricky business, and I classify them into two main categories.

1. Thank-God Client: The client that worships you and your work, believes what you say, and appreciates all the work you do for them.

2. Not That Way Client: And then there’s the client who fights you ever step of the way, who knows how to do it better and demands you change everything to align with their superior knowledge.

One is a pleasure to work with and builds your self esteem greatly with spontaneous bouts of magic. The other frustrates you, leaves you pulling your hair wondering: “is this person for real?”, and will try and suck all of your time for relatively minute things.

Which type are you? Which type are you chasing?

Simplify Your Life, is it a Myth?

we think we need so many useless things when all we really need is time to breathe

Simplify. Simplify your life. Simply your product. Simplify your mind.

I am feeling overwhelmed with information on how to live a better life. And to compound this feeling, I’m feeling rather mis-aligned with this knowledge I now have. I’ve read the books, I’ve taken the notes, had the conversation, identified directions and milestones, but… I’m still not feeling aligned. Action is much louder than figments of my imagination.

This is a contradiction and a paradox of our modern [digital] life, and I really do want to strip down the barriers and align with the simplicity.

I think what gets me anxious is my sense of urgency, or simply put: my instant desire and my inability to accept change takes time. I am reminded daily by infographs or inspirational quotes that tell me it’s just a step away, that today is the day, that change happens now.

In all sincerity though, I believe this is a romantic idea of what a happy life really looks like. There’s something logical and calculated that I believe holds me back from immediately taking that step towards this romantic idea, and I think it’s this that becomes overwhelming.

Am I distracted? Perhaps it’s getting to that point.

I’m currently reading The Art of Happiness where the Dalai Lama puts it bluntly about his thoughts on romance. Now, this may just be because as a monk he’s sworn to celibacy, but he believe that the whole idea of romance isn’t healthy for a human to believe in as it leads us up to false ideals and misconceptions built upon commercialized concepts and unattainable, unrealistic lies we’ve been fed. One that plays on one of our most primal instinct as an animal in finding a life partner.

I’ve been thinking that perhaps the Dalai Lama is right, that the infomercials that look really nice and pretty that I’m trying to believe in are not really that attainable and it’s leading me straight down a path of disappointment.

Perhaps it’s this fact compounded with the fact that this path is never supposed to end, not dissimilar to the path to enlightenment.

What do you think? Are you also feeling overwhelmed?

I would gladly live out of a suitcase if it meant I could see the world


Igniting Passion

Igniting passion is a very valuable skill to have. To be able to tap into this essence that seems to live in the ether but still very valid and so thick it’s almost tangible.

Regular monotony in a daily thought pattern to inspired passion

There’s a pattern to this though, there’s some secrets to regularly igniting this inspired passion to have it become more and more prominent as days go by.

How, you may ask? How do we take our regular monotony, our tedious schedule of daily life and turn it into a passionate and inspired life? The answer is simple: modify and carefully select your daily thought patterns.

Kim Anami calls it following your bliss. Seth Godin talks about the process. The truth is, it’s continual thought patters that are as dynamic as the changing weather seasons but just as reliably there.

I refer to this as awareness and commitment and intention. The Art of Manliness calls this concentration training. What do you call this?

The skill you need is simple: intention. Know why you’re doing what you’re doing. Know why you say what you’re saying. Know where it is that you want to get to, and how you plan to get there so that you can identify when you’re not following those plans to get there and you can re-map your path back onto that path.

Everybody has their own strategy to mapping this. Creating a personal mission statement, defining effective goals, slowing down, check lists… Perhaps you have some tips for me?


It feels good to do. Just do. To put in a good days of work getting further towards that plan. To itemize and destroy that list of hurtles getting on ones way.

As a human coming into adulthood and maturity, I am starting to realize that there is a difference between a) planning, deliberating, conceptualizing, developing, & shipping and b) thinking, talking, reading, believing, and getting distracted.

I understand how easy it is to get sidetracked with seeing what other people are up to on our favorite social networks – and the motivation they’re sharing with me. I understand how easy it is to find a good movie on and just feel comfortable with it. I understand how easy it is to get immersed in a good bit of fiction -or- non, and feel like it’s at least better than watching television.

But nothing feels like my own personal or collaborative accomplishment does.

True accomplishment, the kind of accomplishment where pride is found.


True accomplishment doesn’t necessarily come hand in hand with success, unless you consider success learning; when you’re pushing yourself to do things, to work, to deliver, you most certainly are going to take home a few lessons learned at the end of the day.

This is where pride is found. This is where contentment is found. This is where belief in oneself is found.

This thought came to me today as I sat here after designing and soldering a new circuit board prototype together. I have been deliberating and thinking and talking about it for so long, always finding excuses like not being able to afford to buy the parts (which is another mind hurdle I’ll leave for another discussion), or that I didn’t have my equipment here to do the work…

Though these may each be valid and hindering me from doing what I must do – budget considering – I want to point out that actually getting down to business, real business and executing… that’s the stuff that feels right and good and is usually just a different angle or viewpoint on the task. I’ve learned that this is the stuff that makes me believe believe in myself, this accomplishment.

Accomplishment. Yes, today I have truly and really taken one step closer to my dreams.

Thinking about this deeper, I think this might be where shoppers get the feeling of accomplishment. Something physical to show for a days work – funny as that may sound to some of us. I think this is also the euphoric bliss one gets after a bout of meditation or yoga. Not only is it a spiritual nurturing, but one comes out feeling like something meaningful and soul building was accomplished.

Whether you find that motivation to accomplish or not is your choice.  It takes effort and patience and there are most certainly going to be things that get done and prove to be lessons learned, not successfully completed tasks.

In the end however, the only way I’ve ever found this feeling of satisfaction with myself, with accomplishment, is to actually get out there and do it, to have that moment in time afterwards where I sit and reflect upon what I’ve just done and tell myself: “I’m here, now I know.”

Just One Time

Just one time. A one time fix.

Quite a novel idea isn’t it?

I guess this is also equivalent to the quick fix, the get rich quick scheme, speeding…

Sure, there are lots of things that we need to fix in this world but are they ever a one time fix? I changed my bike tire last season, so does that mean it’s never going to be needing a fix again? My father last year had 2 caps on his teeth re-capped.

Whenever I hear the words just one time I instantly recognize that the only thing that’s going to happen one time is me having this conversation with you and what you’re selling, cause I’m not coming back. I don’t want just a one time fix, even if it does exist. It’s an over sell, an over promise.

To be fair, there may be a piece of the pie that can just be replaced once and it’s good for the rest of the life of the product. What I’m trying to say is that when I’m finished with an item or a product or a solution I want it to be so ratty and taped up and zip-tied that somebody who looks at it just one time will laugh at it, physically or literally.

Point is, I want a lifetime. Not just one time. I want to easily be able to fix it. I want to initiate a relationship that will last a good long time. I want to have that trust, and I don’t want to waste my time.

It doesn’t take just one quick fast to change a lifestyle or a health choice, it takes an infinite amount of just one quick small choices. I’m not going get my intestine removed just one time to help me on my weight loss program. I’m not going to buy a computer (tv, smartphone, tablet, etc.) just one time and it’ll be the fastest and bestest and I’ll never have to ever buy another one again.

Even my oven, a seemingly solid and long lasting item. Last year I had to replace the bottom heating coil on it, on this one time buy.

My relationship(s)? You got it, I want to continually and consciously be building it and tweaking it and nurturing it, not just one time promises.

Are you one-timing it, or are you life-timing it?

Pleasures and All

Every animal has their pleasures (yes, us humans are included in this).

Whether we’re vocal, public, or confident about it is another matter.

I have noticed a trend that those of us that do not shy away from our pleasures, whether it’s investing in stocks, creating toothpick art, a perfect cup of coffee in the morning, or reaching 5 orgasms in 10 minutes… the idea is that if we are proud of what we’re doing, if we’re interested in it and dig into it with all that we have and possess, then we’ll find ourselves in the region where a glow and shine emanates from our beings vibrantly.

That’s where I’m going. I hope I’ll see you there.